A post about inspiration that I can’t think of a title for. Did I just irony?

I don’t know anything about inspiration because I don’t know what inspiration is; I’ve heard about it, but I never saw it.
– William Faulkner

I’m not going to lie to you. I’m your friend.
I might be your friend in the way that I’m holding a really large carving knife behind my back as I announce our friendship; and if you say ‘Sorry who are you?’ I lunge forward and drive said knife into your chest again and again the whole while screaming ‘FRAAAAAAAAAAANDS’ at the top of my lungs but I am still your friend.
I likely won’t do that though. I only have a butter knife and I’ll probably just stroke your cheek with it uncomfortably if you question our friendship.

But the reason I’m saying that we’re friends is because friends don’t lie to each other. And I don’t want to lie to you and let you think that I have any fucking clue who William Faulkner is. Because I don’t.
I just googled ‘Quotes about inspiration’ and this was one that resonated with me because I wanted to write something about inspiration and I thought it would be poignant and relevant to have a quote about inspiration to start with.

How’s it working for you? Neat!

It works for me because it basically relates almost precisely to where I draw my ‘inspiration.’
In that I don’t.
Shit just pops up when it bloody well feels like it. It usually arrives at a point of total physical exhaustion or when I’ve arrived at a mentally vacuous state.
I COULD tell you that a lot of my inspiration comes from when I train at the gym or from when I’m doing the gardening but I’d be lying. And we’re friends. Refer stab threats above.
Ideas come to me in these two scenarios most often because at the gym I don’t hold back and I am wholeheartedly fucking exhausted physically, and I hate gardening so much that I try to meditate while doing it to save my rage from hitting critical mass and manifesting as a full body inhumanly demonic mutation where, I can only assume, I would transmute into a large rabid bone spike covered hell hound, tear through my fence, bound down the road and bother people at the local super market before mauling an entire petting zoo while horrified younglings watched on.
I’m not kidding about the gardening. I think that shit sucks and my thoughts are boldly evident by the horrific state of disrepair my yard is in.

I would honestly rather have a fist fight with a hungry lion with freshly cut zebra steaks for boxing gloves and then, if by some strange twist of fate I win (Probably because the lion got struck by lightning) be forced to try and fist his angry lioness wife with hot tar as lubricant.
I can give you zero reasons as to why we saw fit to purchase a house with a garden over an apartment with no garden.
I do know that we don’t have a gardener because we don’t earn gardener money.

My point is, ‘inspiration can come from anything and strike anytime’ like lightning to an unfortunate lion. But in reality if you want to be ‘inspired’, you should find what physical or mental state triggers ideas then create those situations and suddenly you’ll get enough mental notes together to bring out a story. I think.

I only say this because after capping off some 20 rep squats with 20 rep pullovers at the gym a few hours ago, I finally came up with a solution for a sticking point in development for a story I’m working on.
Sometimes an empty mind is a good mind but what the hell would I know? I’m new to this.

Oh also, the mental state that’ll get you working? You won’t find it in your social media newsfeed.
Trust me on this, put it down and do something else.

Preferably something you hate.

Yay for rage!


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