I know two things for a fact.
Really I know many things for a fact but here’s two of them.
First of all, you could get rich writing a CSI style software program (or App for you kids out there) that can take a photo of a meal before you start feeding your infant, and a photo of all the crap left on the floor, on the high chair and coating their tiny little bodies after the feeding cycle, which would then run it through an algorithm and tell you exactly how much food managed to actually make it INTO their inefficient little gobs.
And secondly, writing contests have stupidly strict rules as to what counts as a ‘Published work.’
Prior to launching this site (also known as yesterday) my wife had begun to make good on her promise to submit some of my completed work to a writing contest. Luckily for me she was doing it behind my back and not making me do it at gunpoint. Not that I’m not good under pressure, I just pee a little when nervous or excited.
But luckily for her she actually ended up consulting me right before she sent it in and paid the entry fee because I was a little bit dubious as to whether or not it would be accepted.
I had done some research before into entry conditions for various writing contests and, had found out that pretty much everyone will NOT take pre-published works.
Now, I haven’t published anything (to my knowledge) outside of printing off some work for friends to read or edit.
But did you know, and this is handy for aspiring writers, posting your work onto sites like, lets say WattPad, classifies to most competitions as digital publishing and makes the works void from entry?
The boring details are that before I started this blog I thought I’d try and get my writing out there by posting it on WattPad under a pen name (Kane Pross if anyone was interested).
The work received a grand total of 15 views, all me, my wife and my friend Joe, and sat to rot in the aether of the interwebs. Which to be honest is closer to being published that letting work rot on the laptop.
Turns out my work wasn’t WattPad material as it didn’t have enough YA supernatural romance and wasn’t 1D fanfiction.
Despite deleting it from the site the stories meta data still exists meaning its easily found through a goggle search of a paragraph. This pretty much means the story is tainted. And like that poor sullied virgin that was wed off in the second Ace Ventura movie, nobody would ever want it.
Which means you lot are in luck.
The story has been posted in the ‘Full stories and samples’ section of the page and you can get there to see it right away if your impatient by clicking a link just below this paragraph.
Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy, consume and digest ‘Joes Soul’ with ravenous glee.