A breif intermission.

​Wordpress (the platform that this page is based on and the app that I use on my tablet to post blogs) has just had some super nifty update who’s only major discernible feature change is the inability to copy paste my indented paragraphs from word into the ‘blog post’ page.

Which wouldn’t be a problem if I’d stop being slack and use my laptop which runs off the WordPress webpage rather than using an app because you can’t hit ‘tab’ on a tablet keypad without shit going haywire and biscuits vomiting out of every crevice in your device.

Mmmmmm crevice.

Sorry, I mean, mmmmmm biscuits.

Anyways, put up with my sloppy paragraphing for the time being but I want y’all to know that it wont be for much longer!

Remember when I said that we moved recently into a new place? And that we were in between houses for one night?
Well, I’m sorry. I lied.
We were in the old place for fucking AGES. With ALLLL our shit in the new house. Including several hundred bucks worth of fucking good whiskey which is why I lied. Didn’t want folks doing the old geo-tag hunt down and partial identity theft to find my new place, break in and specifically take all my whiskey leaving behind our jewellery and electronics and such.

Anyway, were here in the new place. It’s neat but there’s no internet and an ass-bucket of unpacking to do so I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead. But after that, we’ll finally be properly moved in to our new home state after being in limbo for 6 months.
Which means I get my writing desk, computer and books back with an extra special surprise bonus study. I’m gunna be throwing words around like a Korean businessman throws dollar bills at a midget strip show in Vegas!

Actually those dudes are probably more into amazons.

Be ready for some helpful updates when I’m back up and running including why moving house with a toddler is a bad idea and how to talk to your parents about spoiling your child at Christmas.

The latter of which I am yet to do.

Which means I’ll be getting an awkward text shortly after posting this. Awkward in the sense that it’ll be hard to read because ‘AAAAAAH! TECHNOLOGY!’

I swear to god I just dig holes to see how deep I can get.

For now though, I’d like to leave you all with a poem.

But I haven’t found the time to write one. Just pretend I did and you read it and liked it.

You’re whalecum.


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