What’s the pic about I don’t hear you ask? I took my Hilux in for a recall on the injectors recently and since they replaced them I’ve been getting devilishly good mileage.
Which doesn’t really make a lot of sense. I mean it does in that faulty injectors will fuck with your fuel tanks range, but I was more referring to me getting better mileage because I live in Australia where we have the common sense to use the metric system so I shouldn’t be getting any form of mileage as much as I should be getting kilometer-age (not a word) but fuck it, I gotta appeal to a broader audience so… Yeah.
Speaking of appealing to audiences, there are many things that I learned while doing hard time in the retail sector, most of which were new and creative ways to hate people. But there was still a few neat little tricks to boost sales.
One of the best ones that normally slips past the proverbial goalie of common sense is the Christmas time offer of ‘Last chance this year’ to get a hold of something.
It is honestly a fantastic way to chum the frenzied waters of desperate fools and it works from the very beginning of December all the way to the start of January. Which are roughly 4.3 weeks apart.
I hope this isn’t a startling revelation to you, mostly because I like to think my readers have more than two brain cells to rub together.
But, for those of you that don’t quite get it (and those that do but love a bit of irony) I’d like to let everyone know that, to celebrate the day of my birth (tomorrow) I’m giving you all the very last opportunity this year to download a copy of my short story ‘Hell & Back: A tale from the Wilson family chronicles.’ For absolutely zero dollars on your Kindle. Or your Amazon app if you don’t own one of those fandangled digital book things.
Yes, until Monday American time, which is roughly halfway through Tuesday Australian time, which is an entirely different gripe I have all together in regards to time difference and the fact that my Australian readers have to work around weird fucking days for giveaways because Amazon refuses to operate on the time zone of your selected country of origin when running promotions, YOU can get a copy of my short story for FREE for the VERY LAST TIME THIS YEAR.
A year which there is only about two weeks left in.
You get it yet?
If not, go get it here if you’re American: Hell & Back: A tale from the Wilson Family Chronicles (US)
And go get it here if you’re Australian: Hell & Back: A tale from the Wilson Family Chronicles (AU)
I could probably draw an association between the 666 of my fuel tanks range and hell but I’ll level with you, I’m halfway into a bottle of red and have some pretty strong CBF’d vibes rocking around.
Go celebrate my fucking birthday by reading my mediocre book.
Then drink some whiskey afterwards. Or during. Don’t be fussy.
And get your eyes ready for what’s coming from me next year.
Which if you recall, is two weeks away. No pressure right?
Thanks as always for reading this… stuff.
p.s. I understand that I may have readers in countries other than the USA and the AUS but I’m yet to see many pop up on my WordPress stats so; diggity deal with it yo. Please keep reading though, I love you.