I’m still not dead. (Sorry)

Every time I come back from a hiatus of breif or lengthily proportions I feel the need to assure everyone that I am not in fact dead.
Which makes me feel a little like the dying old man on John Cleese’s shoulder in Monty Pythons Holy Grail. In that I’m lethargically indignant to the presumption; But let’s face it, it’s likely going to be true in a day or hour or so.

Honestly though I’m not dead and don’t plan on being it for a fair while now.
Few years away at least.

Then where have I been? Is the question that I’m writing onto a little piece of paper, shoving into your gob and making you spit out only for me to unfold the saliva moistened parcel and read aloud in a mockery of your own voice to make it seem like you’re actually asking me a question when I know damn well you don’t actually care.
Well I haven’t updated the blog in a while because I’ve been doing… stuff.

Sorry to disappoint you. There’s been no late night skype conferences negotiating a book deal, no preparing for a surprise book tour, no furious procrasturbating, no daring quests to the centre of the world to slay Nazi dragons piloting steam-powered airships.
Well, actually there has been quite a bit of the second last one.
Almost got tennis elbow.

Seriously though it’s been a rather good combination of writing, ring making, parenting and quite a bit of reading.
Which honestly I’m pretty fucking stunned by because reading hasn’t been going well for me as of late because of the whole ‘Jacob’s got the attention of that thing that swims about, the ones that people get tattoos of and it looks like a Magikarp but people get so pissed when you say that. Despite the fact that they’re walking around in a park playing Pokémon Go. Actually what happened to that game? It was here for a month or so then everyone stopped giving a shit. Christ why can’t that happen with Kardashians? Those things are STILL getting airtime.’

It’s been very good actually. Getting a taste of how other authors weave world and develop characters. I’ve picked up quite a bit and I find it amazing how much more observant you become with reading when you start writing yourself.

So, while I’ve been quiet for a while, I plan on getting more noisy now.

Which I say every time I come back after a break.

Aaaaaaand NEVER deliver.

Get pumped fuckers! I’m gunna word on you soon.


p.s. I’ve also been quiet cause I’ve stopped bookfacing on my personal account. If you need me, I’ll be on the Polite As Fuck page. Being… annoying.
Insta is still up tho. I’m a hashtag whore.

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