Babysitting the pallet pt.1


As most of you may already know I work in a warehouse.
Now.

And to those that didn’t… Surprise?

Obviously given the present tense I haven’t always worked in one. I’ve worked adjacent to one, I’ve worked with warehouse staff, I’ve even opened and unpacked a box once or twice but I haven’t actually done stroreman duties as a form of employment before.

Just sales. Soul crushing, life wasting sales.
For the same company for 13 good years of my life.
A place that I gave the double middle finger salute to over six months ago. I cashed out my long service and said ‘Fuck you very much for the memories.’
The bitter irony in all of this is I’m back working for that company and am now in a warehouse rather than on the sales floor.

Lesser of many evils I suppose.

The pay’s worse, but the workmates are a hell of a lot better. Plus I don’t have to put on a fake personality when I go in there in fear of offending a potential sucker (read: customer).
I’m free to be as me as I like. Sure, the guys took a week or two to warm to the occasional painted fingernail. And I’m still getting those ‘The fuck did you just say?’ kind of looks on a daily basis, but they’re almost used to me now. Almost.

And it doesn’t hurt that I’m pretty well skilled in regards to the systems within the company so I didn’t really have to learn much at the beginning and the boss lets me do whatever I want for the most part.
As long as it isn’t procrasturbating on company time. Not that he’s said that, I’m just making the assumption. My hands are dirty a lot too so it’s not exactly an option.

It’s hard work but it’s what my father in law calls ‘Honest work’. Which translates to ‘Shit that will slowly kill you physically in exchange for cash’ as opposed to my old job which was ‘Shit that will compromise your moral integrity and your will to achieve in exchange for cash.’

As the old saying goes, nobody likes going to work. That’s why they have to pay you to turn up.

It isn’t really that bad though. I’m meeting a lot of interesting people. Plus as I said, I know the ins and outs of the company. Which means I can get a lot of shit done of a day without having to talk to others to confirm that I’m doing the right thing.
Plus my years of experience at different levels in the company means I’m privy to certain; loopholes in their operation. Bits of inside information and whatnot.

Which comes in kind of handy when delivery drivers like Barnes come to you with interesting offers.

TBC…

Jacob

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: