It’s weird, no matter how much time I waste on procrastinating I always end up feeling way better about myself when I manage to create something in the end.
The other night I spent close to two and a half hours all alone zoned out on the couch doing fuck all and nothing in that particular order. I flipped through some social media and I stared at the blinking red light on my router wondering when my ISP is going get its act together and restore life giving interwebs to half of my country.
I could only assume their base was under siege by a pack of ravenously hngry techno-lions*.
*Half lion, quarter robot, quarter whatever the fuck lawnmower man was.
I’m guessing the pride was holed up in the server room, the alpha male resting contently, his belly full of greasy nerd as he licked their cheeto flavored blood from his mighty metal paws while relaxing atop a mountain of cat5 cable, kept warm by blisteringly strained servers which are trying desperately to keep up with the data demands of the rest of the pride.
It probably took the combined efforts of a small tactical seal squad spearheaded by Steven Seagal along with the assistance of the only surviving night watchman who just happens to be Bruce Willis in a John Mcclane style character and the hacking prowess of, I dunno, lets go with the guy who helped Nick Cage steal the declaration of independence (Not the one from the movie, the guy who helped him in real life.) to squash the threat of the pride.
Fuck it, Seth Green, it’s Seth Green not the guy who helped Nick Cage.
Anyways, I spent ages doing nothing, then finished off a blog post and felt like I achieved something that night.
I didn’t save the internet from techno-lions or made the noble sacrifice of taking on the Alpha in robotic paw to hand-with-a-knife combat resulting in a mortal wounding but not before I can mumble something inspirational like Seagal does to Willis. Who really doesn’t need it because he was a marine himself before getting into the police then getting framed for fraud forcing him to take a menial security job where he would eventually have to unknowingly battle hybrid internet cyborg felines. But I have managed to create something.
And in the end, isn’t that what really matter?
What do you mean no?
Oh for fucks sake I wasted an entire eveni-