I’ll have a flat white with no milk please.

Milk with coffee is an abomination. There, I said it. It’s an abomination and the only way to save it is with chocolate. Don’t believe me? Just ask any woman who’s currently shedding her endometrial lining if chocolate can indeed fix everything and they will fastidiously agree. Actually on second thought don’t bother, it’ll likely … Read more

Feeding the birds.

“It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.”
If you’re unfamiliar with this thought or have never had it swim around in your head before rest assured that the global quota of reassessing ones actions in the face of a less than desired outcome is being met and exceeded by the first time parents of toddlers the world over.

And now for something… slightly different.

I once had a workmate who I caught googling ‘what to write on a going away card. No shit, that exact phrase. Honestly who the fuck doesn’t know to write ‘goodbye’ on a card. Maybe a ‘goodluck’ as well just so you don’t come off like a prick. There were a couple of factors in … Read more

Death and lying to children.

It is very, VERY important to lie to your children in the early years to prepare them for the big wide world out there.

Fuck yeah arts and crafts time, for adults!

Calm down, I’m not gunna teach you how to do jelly moulds of your private parts, that’s not what I mean by arts and crafts for adults. Mind you that would be fun. It’s more in reference to the fact that the last arts and crafts post I did was in relation to keeping a … Read more

Babysitting the pallet pt.1

I haven’t actually done stroreman duties as a form of employment before.
Just sales. Soul crushing, life wasting sales.

The closest thing to a ‘daddy-blog’ I can manage right this second.

I’ve been busy not writing recently because I’ve been doing that thing where I just get lost in the act of making stuff with my hands and passing it off as ‘Art’. I’ve mentioned before in a previous blog (either that or wrote one that I deleted before posting) that art can be whatever you … Read more

Philosophical shit. No, really.

If you’ve been reading the blog for long enough and have a memory better than mine, which if I’m being honest isn’t hard to come across because it’s almost as short as my attention whatsamacallit, you’ll recall how I made mention of the fact that I don’t really like to read that much when I’m … Read more

Frank and the Third.

Let me be frank. And as Frank, let state as my first order of business that I actually edited my last blog post. No, not proof read, but actually typed out, analysed, then re-typed the bulk of it before hitting “Publish” and wasting another tiny chunk of your precious time. As a person who aspires … Read more

Confessions of a rabid gummy-er.

I had this whole big blog post planned about how I’m back (again) and I’ll be updating more regularly (again) and most of the little side projects are finally done so I can concentrate on writing (again) but let’s not lie to each other here and I’ll just molest your eyes with some words instead. … Read more

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